My Annual End-of-School-Year Plea to End the Madness
Parents everywhere are inevitably anxious for school to end by the first of May. Parents of kids with ADHD and learning disabilities get a jump on this. I don’t know about you, but my desire to reach the end of a school year starts in [more…] November, about a month after the honeymoon period ends. By mid-November, I’m counting down the days until Thanksgiving break. By early December, I’m holding my breath in anticipation of the holiday hiatus. It keeps going downhill until I reach a point of no return, begging the universe to have mercy on us and speed up time until we reach the last day of school. That usually starts in March.
Please, please! Let his days go smoothly.
Please, PLEASE! Don’t make me go to another IEP meeting.
Come on! PLEASE don’t make me try to explain my special kid to school staff one. more. time.
Now it’s almost the end of May. I’ve been begging and pleading for more than two months, but my cries can’t be answered. What I want is for my son to have a smooth day like a neurotypical kid, to not have any homework, to be okay with going to school. There’s no magic though, so my son will continue to struggle — and I too, by extension.
I’ve actually resorted to paying my son, Ricochet, to complete fifth grade. Yea, you read that right.
Monday Ricoceht didn’t want to go to school… again. He begged me to let him stay home “just this once.” The problem was that it wasn’t just this once though — a rough school year meant he’d already been absent the 14 days the school district allows before mandatory summer school.
“Just twelve more days, Buddy,” I plead as we sat in my car in the school parking lot.
“I don’t care!” he fired back.
“But you made it through 173 days already, just twelve more and you’ll be finished. You’ll be a sixth grader,” I reminded him. “Besides, today’s field day — it’s gonna be a fun day!”
I tried to exude enthusiasm. Ricochet wasn’t buying it.
“What if my friends aren’t at school today? One was absent yesterday and the other went home early,” he said. Worry was written all over his furrowed brow.
It was at that moment that I realized he was upset and resisting school because the last few weeks are unpredictable. There’s field day, award ceremonies, End-of-Grade testing, and more that all throw the predictable schedule out the window. Routine is the glue that holds this kid (somewhat) together. Without that, he’s like a tiny fish in a big pond who doesn’t know how to swim. The anxiety that causes sends him into a tailspin.
Monday morning I was pretty desperate to get him into school. There was no way summer school would be anything short of a nuclear meltdown, and PTSD from other recent school refusal battles was ramping up my own hair-trigger anxiety. So, I offered to pay him for the remaining twelve days of school — $1 per day for each day he doesn’t complain about going to school and hops out of the car at the curb on his own.
Was it the right parenting choice? Probably not. But I need to end the madness. I am frustrated, frazzled, and downright exhausted. I’m counting down each and every day until the end of the school year, too. $12 seemed a small sum to pay to try to hold on to my very last strand of sanity until the end.
Ten days and counting…
Oh, my, yes! So many parents (of NT kids) that I know are SO EXCITED when school starts in August. That is such a foreign concept to me. I can’t wait for holiday break, Mardi Gras break, Easter break, and – the best! – summer break!
All that said, Dylan’s had a good year. Staying back has gone well. He has taken responsibility for a lot of his learning, and has more-or-less enjoyed school for the first time in years. But we were still excited for summer break!
I also get what you mean about all the “stuff” at the end of the year. In the last quarter of school, he had 1 week at Starbase (a learning program put on my the dept. of defense at a local barracks – hands on science that he loved), 2 breaks (both Mardi Gras and Easter), 1 week of standard testing, field day, junior achievement day, Jazz Fest day, and probably a few other things I’m forgetting. On top of that, they mostly did Common Core math, which totally does not work the way his brain does. So far fewer days in class learning + math he did not understand meant that he went from As and Bs in math to a D. Disappointing but I couldn’t possibly punish him or make him feel bad about it. I don’t feel like he had a chance. He still got an award for Beta Honor Roll (his first in years).
Here’s to the final 12 days and $12. Whatever gets you through!
I’m glad he had a good year Dee! I know how hard the decision to retain them is, but it was by far the best choice we’ve made for Ricochet. I’m glad it worked out for your son, too. In one hour, it will be 9 days left. {Phew!} I think we might make it. 😉